


Golden Tears

by DevilChild101



Series: Losing Oneself A Piece At A Time [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Gen, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:28:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22119436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevilChild101/pseuds/DevilChild101
Summary: Crowely knew exactly what happened once the feel of the air changed, right before Aziraphale could confirm it for himself.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Losing Oneself A Piece At A Time [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605904
Comments: 3
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Annabellemapel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annabellemapel/gifts).



> Enjoy! Also thanks to Annabellemapel for being my beta. I don't know how to tag you here via mobile so imma just gift it to you, SURPRISE!

Crowely woke up with sharp pain in his back, between where his wings would be, and pain next to his heart. 

The pain of an arrow going through him and nearly killing him, a reminder of the war. A pain he tied to a certain angel when they're in trouble. 

He jumps off of his couch and immediately teleports to Aziraphale's location, which was the bookstore. Aziraphale was kneeling on the floor covering his face while gold and red blood dripped onto the floor. In front of him stood the Archangel Fucking Gabriel, he turned his head to look over his shoulder and smiled at the demon. "Oh well _look_ who's here! A bit late to the party but that's what you should expect from a demon." The angels' shoes were covered in Aziraphale's blood, as if he had just finished kicking him.

Crowely growled and steadily walked forward him, nails growing into claws and fangs growing out of his mouth, patches of scales appearing on his skin. Gabriel smile dropped slightly, and glared at him before swiftly disappearing a moment before Crowely could grab him. With the source of his anger gone, he went straight to worry and kneeled in front of his angel. He retracted his claws so he could hold their face, subtly trying to heal him. Aziraphale started to cry as soon as he was touched, still not moving his hands away from his face, and a new flow for both celestial gold blood and his corporation's red blood mixed with the newly shed tears. "What did he do to you?" Crowely whispered.

The angel started to shake as a sob broke through. It took him several attempts to talk through the tears." He….he...took them...all of them."

"Took what, Angel?" Crowely glances around the bookshop, looking for anything out of place, and only found a book laying open on the floor next to some spilled tea from a broken cup that it was in previously. He can't imagine anything in this bookstore worth stealing, besides his angel of course. Not that would happen on Crowely's watch.

His only response was the angels' shake of his head. He tried to move Aziraphales hands from his face but the angel refused to move a muscle. It's time to try a different tactic. "Why was he here, Angel?". He'll get his answer in a roundabout way instead.

"I...I was reading. When he a-appeared. Startled me so much that I d-dropped my cup. I didn't want to confront him a-alone. Tried to get to the phone…" He started to stop shaking, but his tears continued. "He twisted the book out of hand and dragged me over here. So I couldn't call you. I should have gotten the phone you've gave me...He...he said 'You've done this to yourself, straying from Heaven's light.' And..and.."

His hands lowered slightly off his face, still hidden. Crowely could move it away if he wanted to, but he will wait until the story is over, he needs the answers in order to help him. It was silent for a moment, Aziraphale was lost in the memory of the event, and that won't do. "Aziraphale," he whispered, "what did he say?"

"He said that I couldn't see the error of my ways…" Aziraphale let out a strained laugh. "He used his powers to restrain me and one by one he-" He cut himself off with a deep intake of breath, holding back a sob. "My dear," he whispered, "I don't think I ever showed you my true form." He lowered his head one hand, soaked in blood, removing Crowely's hand from his face with a tight grip. The demon holds his hand so he wouldn't be tempted to move it. He doesn't like the sudden change of topic, knowing that it's somehow related to what happened.

"I don't have the energy to do so now but I'll try to describe it. I have a few wings, not including our primary ones, small; more of a decoration than anything. Always in a new location when I look at them...my halo is around my neck, just a bit lower than my bowtie..and I have eyes. Thousands of them all over my body, even in my hair, all different sizes." Another laugh, sounding sad. "With all of those eyes you must be wondering how I always get into trouble when I should clearly see it coming." It was silent again, the air feels as if it shifted. 

His head rose up and Crowely could see the damage. His eyes were open but he no longer saw the sky blue he was familiar with. It was just dark holes that had a steady pour of gold and red running down his face like mascara in the rain. "I..I think he hit me at one point? I'm afraid I don't remember, with all of the pain." He smiled as he started to cry. "I don't think that they can heal…they'll never come back..."

Crowely hugged him and whispers apologies as the angel cries into his shoulder.

They stayed on the floor for hours, long after the tears have stopped and the blood has dried.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG is this a second chapter to what originally was just an angsty one-shot?!

Darkness.

He was surrounded by darkness.

His voice doesn't carry when he tried to question it and he can't move a step. He can't feel his fingers, hands, or arms and he can't hear a thing.

It was suffocating.  _ He  _ was suffocating. There's no air and he can't breathe, and now the pressure building up around him made him feel as if he was drowning. Liquid filling his lungs, and he's falling. The darkness is eating him with no way to scream for help, no way to escape, no way to  _ survive _ .

Just darkness.

It was wrapping around him, choking him, from any air he has left. Like a rope, thick and irritating the skin, the darkness makes him a noose that he can't remove. He's paralyzed, a plaything for the unknown that lurks within this void. Endless torture for all days. And he can't see it, he'll  _ never _ see it. Even Hell would be more merciful than this eternal death that he's going through. He can't cry, but he oh so badly wants to. But who else could hear him in this darkness, besides the creature itself?

It moves again, releasing him from it's hold. The texture changes from the rough feel of rope to the smooth feel of scales. He can see the darkness move thanks to an unknown light source, but he can't find it in himself to go look for it. He can move, he can hear, he can breathe,and most importantly: he can  _ see.  _ The darkness was shrinking, green grass appeared below him, a blue cloudy sky above. Endless hills and rivers and lakes for miles and miles.

The darkness was just a slither of its former self, all scales. The colors didn't leave it unharmed; it wasn't fully dark anymore, red was eating it around the edges, and two yellow dots giving it a face like a snake. It was familiar and it was coming towards him. 

He was now sitting on a bench. He doesn't quite remember sitting down, but the remaining darkness, the snake, was growing large to sit next to him. A humanoid form. A man with long red hair and golden eyes and a dark robe. The man smiled and took his hand.

_ I found you _ . They said.  _ I'm sorry that it took so long, I didn't know how lost you were. _ The man looked sad for a moment before standing up lightly pulling on his hand to encourage him to follow. 

_ It's time to wake up, Aziraphale. I have a surprise for you. _

Darkness.

He was surrounded by darkness.

But he can move,he can hear, he can smell, he can feel.

He moves to a sitting position, he hears Crowely's soft sigh as the floorboards creak, he smells pastries. Chocolate ones at that. He feels Crowely's hand leave his face.

"Good morning, Angel." The demon says with a cheer in his voice. "I brought you breakfast. Would you like to eat in bed or downstairs in the kitchen?"

"I don't think having crumbs in my bed would be very comfortable, now would it?"

"Downstairs it is." He says as he takes Aziraphale's hand to help him out of the bed.

"I don't need your assistance to get downstairs." And so it starts. They've been doing this for a few days now. He follows the hand that he was given.

"Of course not." The demon replied, he can hear his eye roll.

"I'll have you know that I know this building like the back of my hand, can walk around with my eyes closed." He's gently being led down the stairs, closer to the warm smell of chocolate.

"I know." It was said like a sad whisper, as if the angel wasn't supposed to hear it. A damper on their usual banter. Best to ignore it.

A chair was placed next to his thigh so he would know where to sit within the darkness. He settled into the chair, still happy that he can still do  _ something _ without the need of his eyes. A plate was placed in front of him with a soft spot  _ ting _ sound. It was something Aziraphale was noticing lately, his other senses became extremely sensitive, especially his hearing. He tested it out on his friend to see how much better it has gotten.

The shift of air tells him that Crowely has teleported into or out of the room, a faint smell of potting soil tells him that Crowely was just with his plants within the last few hours, the taste of the hot cocoa has a hint of sulfur showing signs that Crowely made it himself, no matter how much he says otherwise, and he can hear every step and breath Crowely takes. Which is odd since the demon prides himself over being in a room silently, he must purposely be making himself heard for Aziraphale.

"Today I've gotten you a double chocolate and fruit breakfast pastry. I heard it was really sweet so I knew that you would like it " Crowely said as he placed a fork in his hand and guided it to the food. The fork broke through the crust and with a little wiggle, a piece of it was free. He feels when Crowely miracles the price onto the fork.

"Really, dear, I'm sure I could have picked it up on my own."

"I never said that you couldn't." There was a smug tone in his voice, a sign that he at least _thought_ that he couldn't find the food on his plate.

He sighed, and brought the wonderful smell to his mouth. He missed, a bit too far on his left. He turned his head to eat if from there. A napkin was pressed against the mess on his cheek. A silent question.  _ Can I clean it or do you want to? _

He nods and the sticky mess was gone. The pastry was delicious. He could taste every ingredient that was there. Bananas, strawberries, almonds, chocolate and a hint of powdered sugar. It was indeed sweet. He also tasted the smallest amount of sulfur. Crowely made this. He smiled while he chewed.

Crowely was very considerate these days after the  _ Visit.  _ He helped with every single thing on the first day, giving Aziraphale time to adjust to this new life without sight. Then the next day, he stopped being overbearing and watched him for any signs of struggle. On the third day, he gave him a walking stick,  _ "for when I'm not here" _ . A lie because he was almost always there but he understood the message. Relearn how to walk around on your own. Gain more independence for yourself. The day after that they went to the park. He held Crowely by the arm while they walked around until they've gotten to their bench. They stayed there for hours until it's gotten cold. He tried to use the stick to find his way back, not really successful but his demon always gave him a push in the right direction when he wandered too far off track. He's really glad to have a someone so caring.

Once he finished his breakfast, Crowely starts to clean. Aziraphale thinks that he should read some before he finishes. He walked over to his couch, nearly tripping only once, a new record. Crowely has gotten him a book that's all braille and he's trying to get through it. He keeps mixing the letters up, but he won't give up. He can do this one, simple task. Then it happens.

It always happens at least once a day, but this time was the worse yet. He just forgets that he's not sleeping. That the darkness can't hurt him. That he's safe. It usually lasts for a few minutes and Crowely never seems to notice when it happens. Or if he does, he doesn't say anything about it.

Today's started the same way, he's back in the dream, and he can't move. He can't hear, smell, taste,  _ see. _ He feels his limbs being wrapped up by the dark tentacles and being pulled in opposite directions, trying to rip him to pieces. He feels his bones being crushed by the force of its grip. He wants to scream in pain but there's no air in the darkness, so he cries instead. Then the darkness finds thousands of fresh wounds, a few days old, and digs into them. All of them at once. His body goes limp, he can't take much more of this pain. The darkness says otherwise as it stands him repeatedly where his eyes used to be, and all over his chest. Endless darkness. Endless pain.

Then he feels warmth in his hand. He squeezes it and the warmth squeezes back. The pain lessened slightly and he can hear someone whispering. He tries to focus on the sounds and the pain started to fade as the words became clear.

"-afe. I'm here with you. We're in the bookstore, on this horrible old couch that you really need to update, an antique store wouldn't even buy it. There is hot chocolate, made exactly how you like it, with extra marshmallows. I would read you one of your books but I keep sneezing at all of the dust you've piled up. When you sleep tonight, I'm going to clean this place up. I bet the dust bunnies you've made from this store grew into an army by now. Shhhh , don't cry, you're safe, I promise."

Crowely was talking him out of this nightmare, and it was working. He tried to get the tears off of his face."...Thank you..." His voice sounded strained, was he screaming earlier? Crowely had stopped talking. He feels his hand on his face. "What's wron-"

Aziraphale can see himself.

Aziraphale can  _ see _ himself. His tear stained face, his night clothes, his hair that needs a good brush through, and his eyes. His eyes looked like they were closed with just a small opening. A new round of tears were building up as he sees a hand on his cheek. A hand connected to the body that is  _ seeing _ through.

"I wasn't sure that it was going to work. It came to me when I first had to wake up. You were able to see in your dreams when I was there and I wondered if I could help you see here too. It's a lot of energy and I'm getting tired just doing this much, but -"

The angel was crying again. He could see his huge smile form. "Oh, thank you, dear." It's odd watching himself talk, but he catches Crowely's " _ ngk" _ as his head turns to show him a white cell phone. Crowely's phone was black ,along with his case,and he jokingly gave Aziraphale a white case with golden and silver wings drawn all over it. He never took it off. "I'm going to need my hands to show you this surprise."

He was back in the darkness, but the hand he was holding never let go. He hears the phone taping and feels a miracle happen. Then something was being added to his ears. Crowely took his hand and showed him how to follow the earphone cords to a small shape with two buttons. " This small one stops and plays and this long one is the volume."

"So my surprise is music?"

"Not quite."

Crowely must have tapped something on the device because now he can hear a man introducing himself and the name of a book that he's going to read. Aziraphale quickly finds the pause button. 

" I couldn't find most of your books, obviously, and the ones there aren't the first editions but I think that they'll do just fine."

If he says  _ thank you  _ again, the demon might try to leave the room. Instead he squeezes his hand and says " I believe you said that you were tired, dear? Take a nap while I listen to this." He feels the demon lay down on his lap and put their hands on his chest. There was immediately a soft snore.

The darkness may surround him at all times of the day, and tortures him at all hours of the night, but Crowely will always appear and fight it back when he can't. He's the light in this darkness, his personal angel with a spaded tail. The both of them will get through this like they always do.

He presses play on the reading of Hamlet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in less then a day, thanks to MessicaMiles giving me an idea to give him a way to recover. I'm almost done with my next Hurt! Aziraphale Story so I decided to post this to get you ready for it~~
> 
> Until next time, my sweets~~⭐

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly could write a slightly more happy second chapter, but where is the fun in that? I prefer watching you smarm with your feels attacking me like daggers. Mwhahaha!


End file.
